The Beginning

Like all good journeys, it started with an argument.

“So what’s wrong with you, why are you in a bad mood, you’re not going anywhere?”

“Well, you ask for my opinion about something and then you get mad at my answer!”

“I didn’t get mad at your answer, I took your advice!”

“No, that’s not it, you asked me and then I answered and then you just huffed off without saying anything!”

“I didn’t just huff off! I went to go and do what you said I should do.”

“I didn’t say you should do anything. You asked me and I’m just used to a different environment and so I answered you based on that. I don’t know who you are seeing or what they will think about one verses the other.”

“I still have no idea why this could possibly tick you off.”

“I’m not ticked off, you just walked out and didn’t say anything. I don’t know why you asked me in the first place.”

“I changed the damn pants didn’t I?!”

Like all arguments that are about something like pants, the real issue underneath it all, the underpants if you will, comes through.

“What if I fail?”

“That’s the true question of all journeys. Whether you fail or succeed at whatever you’re doing doesn’t matter, it’s the doing that matters, otherwise you’ll never know. You will spend the rest of your life wondering that giant ‘What If’ that most of us end up wondering because we talk ourselves out of our passions, our ideas, our true purposes.”

My personal, live-in Chris In the Morning.

“No, I know. I don’t want to always wonder, oh what if...” Silence. “I don’t know whether to blog, I mean I don’t want to have bad writing out there, or not say what I want and have people lose interest or God forbid, maybe someone would take my idea maybe even!” More silence. “I want, you know, I’d love for it to be something even John Taylor Gatto would want to read, but it can’t be totally intellectual because I want it to be also funny, I want quirky chapter titles, I want to reach people on a different level, you know?”

“First off, don’t write for anyone. Write for yourself. It won’t work any other way. Second, if you’re wanting to write another John Taylor Gatto book, you’re wasting your time. That’s been done. If people want to get all intellectual about education that’s what they’ll go get. But honestly, 90% of mothers and fathers are not going to pick up and read a long drawn out or, some may say, dry account on the history of education. I’m not saying that Gatto is dry, he’s anything but. You get what I’m saying though. You’re an at home mom that wants to read that stuff, but you’re rare. Most people don’t have the time or brain power for that at the end of the day. They are going to need something more simple, to the point, even entertaining. You need to know John Taylor Gatto may not pick up your book and say, ‘Wow, this is a great intellectual work of art,” but I guarantee that he is going to think that it’s amazing what you’re doing.”

“That’s why I loved Plenty. It is such an entertaining introduction to food if you’re not ready for Michael Pollen. Although I’m personally thoroughly entertained by him.”

“And you have to remember, nobody has done what you’re doing before because it’s your voice. See that’s the trouble with a lot of bands these days. These bands fail because they’re trying to sound like someone else.” This is a staple with my husband: it all goes back to music. “Sure you can try and sound like Bono, but there’s already a U2, it’s been done. I think it’s amazing what you are doing”

“I will think it’s amazing, but maybe I just need to vomit first.” Like all of my “amazing” and inspired ideas, if one takes hold, I’ll be the first one to find the metaphorical mother’s leg to hide behind.

“And you know, as for your blog, don’t even worry about getting the writing right. If,or no, WHEN a publisher picks you up, you’re probably going to have to do a ton of rewriting anyway. You may have to alter and tweak a bit of your vision even. It’s like a recording contract.”

Music strikes again.

I looked over at my husband and realized for the, oh, fiftieth time that I was doing something great that could not have been done without his unrelenting support. You never know when the knight in shining armor, after dismounting his noble steed and removing his heavy plated helmet, is actually a 5’3 bald man with the most sparkling eyes you’ve ever seen.

And so I boarded a plane to my first destination, the first school I was to visit, my first step to find what others were already doing to revolutionize education.